Stories

My smile

Aside | Posted on by maryc8a

At some point in our relationship, I noticed she had developed a new smile, my smile. I used to see it in her face every time she looked at me, when I made her laugh, when she woke up and saw me watching her, after every single kiss. That smile was reserved especially for me.

After we broke up I realized I missed her when I stopped seeing that smile, my smile. Even when we coincidentally ran into each other on the street, the market, etc. She never smiled at me like that again.

After we broke up I realized I had fucked up badly when I saw her once, with a guy, at the park, giving him my smile.

Poems

Enfermé

Aside | Posted on by maryc8a

Je ne peux plus respirer,
Je me sens enfermé,
Je m’asphyxie,
Je sais que j’ai la clé
Je seulment doir de chercher-là,
Mais, je ne se pas comme de chercher.
No.
Je se comme de chercher-là,
Mais je n’ai pas l’inspiration pour chercher,
J’ai besoin cette inspiration,
Je rêve pour l’inspiration,
Je peux vue l’inspiration,
Mais je ne peux pas toucher-là.

Mais, mais, mais,
Beaucoup “mais”,
Les “mais” m’asphyxie,
Je m’asphyxie,
Je me sens enfermé,
Je ne peux plus respirer.

Mask / Máscara

I'm too good at hiding my emotions, keeping the mask on my face. That's my curse.

Soy demasiado buena escondiendo mis emociones, manteniendo la máscara en mi rostro. Esa es mi maldición.

Status | July 15, 2016

Power

Posted on by maryc8a

– It’s just… I don’t think I can handle being hurt like that again. I really don’t think my heart can survive through that again. And right now you’re making it harder for me to be careful with my heart around you. – she said. At that moment her voice was breaking more and more with each sentence.

– Are you really crying? – He asked, surprised. – Dani. No. SHIT. I’ve never seen you cry before.

– That’s because, that night,  I left right before the tears came. – he heard through her sobbing. – I’ve never cried for so long and so much in my life. I hurt so bad.

– Don’t tell me this. I’m starting to regret coming here tonight. – he could feel his own cheeks wet.

– No, don’t. I’m telling you this because if we’re going to do this, if I’m giving you a second chance, it is the last chance. And I need to give you my full trust that you won’t do it again, so I’m letting you know how much power you hold in your hands, how much power you’ve always held and always will hold. I’m giving you my whole heart right now

And so he held her heart, and he held her, all night long, even after they both stopped crying, crying tears that were sad at the beginning and ended up being tears of happiness, and hope, and love.

Poems

Mind-maker-upper

Aside | Posted on by maryc8a

What was it that she needed to do with her life? She did not know, despite the fact that she thought about it and wonder every day. She just couldn’t figure it out.

Was it something she was good at? She was good at many things. Was it something she loved doing? She loved doing many more. She just couldn’t make up her mind.

“Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.” said Dr. Seuss once.

Perhaps counting, perhaps reading or staying home. Perhaps writing, singing or a mix of all.

TV

Quote | Posted on by maryc8a

“What happened to you?… You used to have all these great ideas, now all you seem to do is browse the internet. Maybe that’s why you don’t write anymore”

– Girls

Encierro

Me siento encrerrada, a veces simplemente quiero llorar y gritar hasta que se me acabe la voz, pero mi encierro hasta eso limita.

Status | April 13, 2016

Stories

Silueta

Aside | Posted on by maryc8a

Cada noche me sentaba junto a mi ventana, esperando que ella se asomara en la suya a fumar su cigarrillo nocturno cotidiano. Por la posición de nuestras ventanas nunca pude detallar su rostro, siempre veía solamente su silueta; la silueta mas hermosa que había visto en toda mi vida, con el cabello suelto, sus largos, suaves rulos moviendose contra el viento.

Cada noche esperaba con ansias ese cigarrillo nocturno, y cuando no se asomaba me rompía el corazon, me preguntaba qué estaría haciendo que no tenía tiempo ni para asomarse a fumar.

Por meses contemplé esa silueta, y me enamoré de ella, de aquella mujer perfecta a la que nunca conocí, cuyo rostro nunca ví, cuya oz nunca oí, solo una desconocida y perfecta silueta, perfecta para mí.

Thoughts

Schizophrenic

Aside | Posted on by maryc8a

Imagine how creative your mind has to be to create voices and images inside your head to the point you believe they’re real!

Sometimes I even envy schizophrenic people… Ok ok, I take that back. Seriously, though, those people could be AMAZING movie makers, writers, painters, artists, etc. For fuck’s sake, if doctors and scientist could take the time and find a way to help them project those thoughts and create great things instead of trying to make them shut it all down, if there was a way they could stop being afraid of the voices and images and pay attention to them instead, they could be great artists!

Maybe all those great artists who ended up killing themselves were schizophrenic, and maybe if someone had helped them turn those thoughts into more amazing stuff they wouldn’t have killed themselves, we would still be enjoying their awesome art.