Familiar

And when we kissed it felt weird, it felt familiar, like I had kissed him a million times before, like I had known his lips, needed them, my whole life, like I had known HIM my whole life. Maybe from another life, maybe from all the lives that I have lived.

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Desconocidos

Ella siempre ponía en papel las historias que se inventaba en la cabeza, historias de terror, de amor, de suspenso y de todos los géneros que puedas imaginar. Las guardaba en una carpetica y siempre que viajaba a Londres – que era mucho, siempre amó la ciudad pero nunca se planteó vivir allí – los dejaba en su café favorito, en la misma mesa, en una esquina al final del café.

Él todos los días pasaba por el café, compraba un frappe latte con oreo y chequeaba la mesa a ver si encontraba alguna historia nueva.

Él nunca supo quién era la autora de esas maravillosas historias, y ella nunca supo que sus historias las recogía y leía siempre la misma persona, su fan número uno, su único fan.

Water after the desert

I tried a go at the door but he blocked the way. He cornered me and said:

– Anna, please! – He was really pleading, begging almost.

What was this? What else did he want from me?

– No! – I said, already in tears.

– Please! Just look at me, look at me in the eyes!

– I can’t! Can’t you see how much you hurt me? How broken I am? What else do you want from me?

– I don’t want your pain! – I could hear his voice breaking. – Your pain hurts me too, look at me! – He was definitely crying now. I looked up, into his eyes. I could already feel how he won. – I know I caused that pain and it hurts me possibly even more than it hurts you. Can’t you see it? – He was right. Now that I REALLY saw him I noticed I wasn’t the only one that had been crying for months. He looked even worse that I did, and I looked horrible. He closed his eyes, placed his forehead in mine and kept going. – I don’t want your pain. – Whispering now. –  I want to try and make you forget it. I want a second chance. I want to try and earn your trust again. I want to try and be your source of happiness once more. I want to make you love me again.

– Love you again? – I asked. He opened his eyes again but kept his forehead in place. – Why do you think it keeps hurting so much? I haven’t stopped loving you, I don’t think I can. That’s why it hurts. I’ll never stop loving you.

He kissed me then, a melancholic, hungry kiss, full with tears and nostalgy and desperation, like when you drink water after you’ve been lost in the desert for ages.

Un placer

No pude despegar mi atención de él desde que lo vi. Así no lo mirará directamente, estuve todo el viaje volteando hacia donde él estaba parado y cada vez que volteaba notaba que él no apartaba sus ojos de mi. Yo estaba intentando ser discreta, él había mandado la discreción a la mierda, y obviamente notó que cada vez que volteaba era por él. Poco a poco se fue formando una media sonrisa un poco arrogante en su rostro, y ya mi discreción era inexistente, no podía aguantar sonreír y sonrojarme. Por alguna razón encontraba esa media sonrisa arrogante extremadamente sexy.

Ya hubo un momento en el que simplemente reí y le pregunté:

– ¿Te vas a quedar ahí viéndome con esa sonrisa arrogante o vas a decir algo?

Él respondió mostrando sus dientes en una sonrisa completa y me dijo.

– ¿Estas apurada? ¿O hay alguien esperándote?

– Debería estar apurada, pero supongo que un café o un helado no me caerían mal.- Respondí, encogiendome de hombros.

Él se rió ante mi sugerencia.

– Por aquí hay una heladería con unas malteadas brutales. En la parada que viene nos bajamos.

– ¿Eso es una invitación o una orden?

– Creo que sea cual sea igual te bajarás conmigo, ¿me equivoco?

– Que modesto – Le dije, alzando una ceja. Al mismo tiempo el bus frenaba frente a la parada.

Nos bajamos y caminamos hacia la heladería, estaba a una cuadra de la parada. Los dos sonreíamos abiertamente.

– No puedo creer que estoy apunto de tomarme una malteada con un extraño, ni siquiera se tu nombre. No eres un asesino en serie ni nada por el estilo no?

– Jaja no. Tampoco te pedí que me acompañaras a mi casa pues, sólo es una malteada.

– Buen punto.

Caminamos un rato más en silencio, cuando llegamos a la heladería abrió la puerta para que pasara yo primero y, entrando detrás de mí, dijo:

– Andrés.

– Luna – le respondí, alzandole la mano protocolarmente. Él me dio la mano y me besó en la mejilla.

– Creo que está es la primera vez que digo esto con completa honestidad; es un completo placer para mí conocerte Luna.

My smile

At some point in our relationship, I noticed she had developed a new smile, my smile. I used to see it in her face every time she looked at me, when I made her laugh, when she woke up and saw me watching her, after every single kiss. That smile was reserved especially for me.

After we broke up I realized I missed her when I stopped seeing that smile, my smile. Even when we coincidentally ran into each other on the street, the market, etc. She never smiled at me like that again.

After we broke up I realized I had fucked up badly when I saw her once, with a guy, at the park, giving him my smile.

Power

– It’s just… I don’t think I can handle being hurt like that again. I really don’t think my heart can survive through that again. And right now you’re making it harder for me to be careful with my heart around you. – she said. At that moment her voice was breaking more and more with each sentence.

– Are you really crying? – He asked, surprised. – Dani. No. SHIT. I’ve never seen you cry before.

– That’s because, that night,  I left right before the tears came. – he heard through her sobbing. – I’ve never cried for so long and so much in my life. I hurt so bad.

– Don’t tell me this. I’m starting to regret coming here tonight. – he could feel his own cheeks wet.

– No, don’t. I’m telling you this because if we’re going to do this, if I’m giving you a second chance, it is the last chance. And I need to give you my full trust that you won’t do it again, so I’m letting you know how much power you hold in your hands, how much power you’ve always held and always will hold. I’m giving you my whole heart right now

And so he held her heart, and he held her, all night long, even after they both stopped crying, crying tears that were sad at the beginning and ended up being tears of happiness, and hope, and love.